Top 5 Things to Know About Being a Step Parent and Then Some

1. These children will never love you as though you are their real parent. And this is okay. You will grow to have a kind of mutual respect/love for each other. The only caveat to this is if the children come into the relationship young enough. The small ones wont resent you or think you are trying to be their Mom/Dad, but be careful around the teenagers because you never want them to think you are trying too hard, they wont like it and they'll like you even less.
2. Be prepared to have your feelings hurt. There will always be something that the teenagers can latch onto that they know will bother you. This is where you MUST BE STRONG. Do not under any circumstances go "down there" with them. You are an adult and if you allow them to "get to you" and you lose your temper, guess what? You LOSE...so steer clear of getting into an argument about whether your dryer opening is too small on your dryer (yes, this is an actual example).
3. Grocery shopping is hard. There will always be one child that doesnt like what you cook. I have found that the best course is to have a bunch of those nibble kinds of foods like pizza rolls, cheese sticks, hot pockets. Again, dont get your feelings hurt over this, just remember everybody is different and it isnt necessarily about you - maybe they just dont LIKE hot dogs.
4. If you are lucky you will have a husband/wife who has a good relationship with their ex. This is how it should be in every situation but such is the world...you always have a few. Dont get involved! Let them argue over whatever it is and stay out of it. I made the mistake of complaining about one small thing with my daughter's father ONE TIME and I received a 3 page letter. My husband is not capable of writing a 3 page letter and you know what else? The letter actually made a lot of sense, so I know he didnt write it. His wife did. As I said, she had some very good points, but did I really want to hear them when I was already mad? You know the answer.
5. Discipline. This word strikes terror in every step parent's heart. Guess how hard it is to discipline your own child and how easy it is to discipline someone else's? This can make for a very interesting argu---wait, all out fight! Because the expectations you may have for what your child should do might not be up to par with your significant others. Oh, but wait...then you will discipline his children and you can see him holding his breath and his tongue...the same as you do when you see him disciplining yours. You really have to sit down and be sure you are both on the same page. This #5 alone can kill a relationship and you really dont want that to happen.

This is only a touch on what happens when families try to "mix". There are some wonderful times too:
1. Like at Christmas when you have a big family and everyone is talking at once and there are thousands of presents sitting under the tree because since you "mixed" you now how a huge family. (It can be expensive, but its worth every penny to see those faces when they open their presents).
2. Like when celebrating birthdays. We have found that our little ones find more joy in other's birthdays than their own (although they do like the getting presents part). They help with the cake, with wrapping, with decorating and they love it and guess what - to them it doesnt matter that its their "step", they are STILL HAPPY AND EXCITED!
3. We have 2 in high school and 2 in elementary so this makes life interesting. We are kept "in the know" about all of the up to date things out there - Ipods, Cell phones, computers, nintendos, Bakugan (bet you dont know what that one is), etc. We will forever be "young" because we have all this youth around us!
4. You will be introduced to "new things" you never even realized existed. My daughter and I were not into sports but my step daughter is a big soccer player. I have learned more about soccer in the last couple of years that I have known my whole life and guess what - its a fun and interesting game to watch. I have a whole new respect for what the rest of the world has always known, this is the real football!

My final comment is to always keep one thought in mind - patience is a virtue! No matter who you are or what your situation is, eventually time will take care of everything. Kids grow up and when they do, they realize how happy YOU are in your relationship and this makes them happy, even though they may have originally thought the world had come to an end! Happy Parenting!!!